Sunday, February 15, 2009

Just stay focused!

It's been really hard, my prep that is.  I'm struggling with time and energy, just not enough of it.  I am forced to really dig deep, deeper then I ever have to stay on top of this.  On top of everything my back is screwed again!  I can't train legs very well and haven't been able to since October last year, god knows how they will look on stage this year :-(

On the food side of things I am fine, just finding the energy to do the second bout of cardio after a long day is almost impossible, I say almost because I still get it done, only just.  It's not like this everyday, just some days but those days feel like forever.  I had such a high energy day on Friday and Saturday then I came crashing down sunday and i'm waiting on the dreaded monthly to start already!

It was all too much for me yesterday I had thoughts creeping into my mind about throwing in the towel, but I knew straight away I would never do this and if I did I would regret it more then anything.

I must stay focused.

My journey has began well and truly and I have started seeing changes and many people are commenting.  I hope that my journey brings me to the whole reason why I am doing this, to better my physique from last comp, that is my goal, my battle, my intension and I hope to succeed in doing this, i'm just a little doubtful about my legs as I can only train them a quarter of what I used to train them at as I can't have weight on me as it kills my lower back.

With my back inflamed again it causes sciatica, not having much fun with numbness and shooting pain running down glute, hammie and calf.

So this is why I question myself about wether to do this comp or not.  I will keep at it though, I really can't imagine stopping at this stage, one day at a time right?

Sorry about the gloomy post I just feel down today, my back pain drags me down.  But you know me, I will bounce right back in no time :-)

Deb x


Tearose said...

wow thats tough, I hope you get some relief from your back pain soon. Have you seen anyone about it? I love your quote, that is so true! Your an inspiration!

Lia Halsall said...

Doom, gloom, it's all a part to the journey Deb. Remember balance, you can't have one without the other sweetheart. No it's not much fun when we're feeling like this and that's when we need to reflect on the past and what got us through and it's that feeling like no other when we step on stage KNOWING we did something truly exceptional that only a few follow through and do. YOU CAN DO THIS and YOU WILL DO THIS. You have what it takes Deb. I've seen it first hand in action.

When you need a shoulder I am here for you, when you need help I am also here for you, when it's all to hard and you just can't go on I'll pick you up and carry you until you're ready to go again. I'm proud of you just for being you and doing what you're doing Deb. ;o)

Luv Lia xxx

MISS TANK said...

Loved our quick chat Debs - will call you Thursday arvo for a headspace update xxx YOU my darling, are going to be fabulous - BELIEVE in yourself - you are my inspiration xx
PS: I went for that walk and you were correct - i felt better
love ya

Trudi said...

I TOTALLY understand about having to train at half pace when nursing an injury. If you are still seeing progress and still on track for where you need to be in the comp then stay with it Splice. My injury just wasnt going to help me stand on that stage any better than my last my goal has changed. Its not about you 'chucking in the towel', it may just be changing the direction a bit. Supporting you in decision you make. Trudsx

Charlotte Orr said...

Hi Deb, great quote. Hope your back is feeling better soon!

ss2306 said...

Hey Deb

Hope the back gets better soon.

I don't know how the hell you get that second bout of cardio done in the arvo. If it was me - never gonna happen!

I understand where you're coming from with feeling overwhelmed sometimes. It's hard being a PT, getting up early, trying to fit in your own training, prep food, etc but if it was easy then everyone would be doing it. We're just the tough ones!